Red XIII in: "Grandpa's Last Stand"
by Carbuncle
Summary: Bugenhagen dies (and he won't be comin' back). Red XIII and the others attend his funeral at Cosmo Canyon. Once the funeral is over Red XIII goes into deep depression. This fic is worth reading because it includes clips from the actual video game FFVII, a


FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
Red XIII in: "Grandpa's Last Stand"  
  
(open to the Sector 5 Slums. Red XIII is asleep in Aeris's garden. Aeris approaches him and he wakes up)  
Red XIII: (yawns) Oh, hello Aeris! Wonderful day, isn't it?  
Aeris: Um... I'm afraid it isn't, Red XIII. I have some bad news.  
Red XIII: Oh?  
Aeris: It... it's about your grandfather... he's dead.  
Red XIII: (gasps) I'm sorry, did you just say my grandfather's still in bed?!  
Aeris: ...No, I said he was dead.  
Red XIII: Oh... then that's much worse.  
  
(cut to Cosmo Canyon. Most of the Final Fantasy VII characters have gathered around the Cosmo Bonfire for Bugenhagen's funeral. The Reverand Roland (from "In Tifa We Trust" and "The Simpsons Rip-Off Fic") is also there)  
Reverand: ...and so we say good-bye to Alexiou Bugenhagen Hagen* (a shot of Cloud, Tifa and Aeris, teary-eyed) who will be sorely missed by his family, (a shot of Red XIII, crying) and his friends. (a shot of Barrett and Cid)  
Cid: Why'd you pan to me!? I didn't even like the guy!  
Reverand: Let us bow our heads in a moment of silence and reflect on how Bugenhagen touched our lives. (everyone closes their eyes) God bless you, Bugenhagen. May the Lord hold and cherish you. (everyone opens their eyes and claps) Thank you, thank you. I'm available for weddings and christenings too.  
  
(cut to the Shildra Inn. The people who attended the funeral service are gathered in the bar. Cloud is talking with one of the local people of the canyon)  
Cloud: So how was it that Bugenhagen died anyway?  
Red Hawk: Well, it all happened out of the blue. You see, one minute Bugenhagen was watching Elder's collection of porn videos with us, the next thing we know, he clutching his heart in pain. We try to help him, but we too late. He gone.  
Cloud: Damn, that's the second person I've known to have death by sex!  
(pan over to Tifa and Aeris, who are by the snooker table)  
Tifa: Poor Red XIII... I hope he's gonna be all right.  
Aeris: Yeah, death is a horrible, horrible misfortune. We don't know how lucky we are to be alive and well.  
Tifa: Yeah... so, do you wanna play a quick game of snooker?  
Aeris: Sure! (she and Tifa grab a snooker cue and set up the board)  
(pan over to Barrett and Cid, who are sat down at the table with a beer each)  
Cid: You wanna know the best thing about funerals?  
Barrett: ...the amount of single female women?  
Cid: No, dammit! I'm talkin' about the booze, of course!  
Barrett: Oh yeah, that too. (two kids start to stare at him) Hey, whaddya think you're lookin' at?!  
Emiko: Your ugly face, mister!  
Barrett: Why you little...!  
Cid: Heh heh... he got you there, man!  
Sephie: His hideous looks are nothing compared to yours though, sir.  
Cid: Shut up, ya little #@$%!! (drinks some more of his beer)  
(pan over to Red XIII, who is alone in the corner of the room)  
Red XIII: (sighs) Why Grandpa...? Why did you have to die? (sheds a tear)  
(Cloud, Tifa and Aeris approach)  
Aeris: Hey Red XIII, how're you feeling?  
Red XIII: ...  
Tifa: It must have been an awful shock, Red XIII, and you must feel so hurt, but we're here for you.  
Red XIII: ...  
Cloud: ...  
Red XIII: Thanks everyone, but I just want to be left alone. (gets up and leaves)  
Cloud: Man, he's really cut up, huh?  
Tifa: I know how he feels. I, too, have lost someone I loved. It isn't nice.  
Aeris: ...  
Cloud: You mean your dad, right?  
Tifa: Uh huh. I still miss him very much.  
Aeris: ...  
Cloud: I miss my mother too. I wish I'd have had just a little more time with her while she was still alive. So many things I didn't have time to tell her.  
Aeris: ...  
Tifa: God, I thought funerals were meant to make you feel happy and joyous. All I feel today is depressed and low.  
Cloud: We should have some more drinks. C'mon girls, I'll buy.  
  
(cut to Bugenhagen's observatory. Red XIII walks inside)  
Red XIII: Grandpa... (looks at a picture of Bugenhagen and himself hung on the wall) You used to be so full of life... I remember when you used to float around like you owned the place and laugh in that jolly way you did... (impersonates Bugenhagen) "Ho ho hooo!" (jumps onto the couch) Heh, I remember the time you were forced to wander around the canyon in the nude because someone had stolen your clothes... and the time you were abducted by aliens... and also the time you taught me all about puberty. (sighs) I miss you, Grandpa. I don't think I can live without you.  
(the door knocks and Aeris walks in)  
Aeris: Hi Red XIII.  
Red XIII: I said I wanted to be left alone! Don't you idiots ever listen?  
Aeris: You're upset, so I'll pretend I didn't hear that. (sits down next to Red XIII) It'll get easier, Red XIII. Trust me.  
Red XIII: What would you know?! Have you ever lost someone close to you?! No! So just shut up 'cause you don't know the first thing about this!  
Aeris: I don't know what it's like to lose someone you love, no. But I do know that you'll need your friends more than anything in the world right now, so let us help you, Red XIII, please.  
Red XIII: I appreciate what you are trying to do, Ancient, but I'm fine. I don't need anyone. I need to get through this by myself. In my own time. At my own pace. (gets off the couch and wanders into the laboratory)  
Aeris: (closes her eyes) Be strong, Red XIII...  
  
(cut to the Cosmo Bonfire. Cloud, Tifa, Barrett and Cid are there. Aeris walks down the steps and joins them)  
Tifa: How's Red XIII?  
Aeris: He's still quite upset. He just needs some time to himself.  
Barrett: Man, I remember when I lost Biggs, Wedge and Jessie - the hardest thin' to do was forget about 'em an' get on wit' life. I was mournin' for days.  
Aeris: ...  
Cid: I've never lost anyone important to me, but if I did I don't know how I'd react. I guess I'd be pretty cut up, I suppose.  
Aeris: ...  
Cloud: It'll be tough for Red XIII to get over his loss. Bugenhagen was a brilliant man. Hell, even I'll miss the old guy.  
Barrett: Heh, remember when we first met him?  
Cloud: Do I?!  
  
(cut to Cosmo Canyon - 1997. Cloud, Tifa and Barrett enter the canyon)  
Cloud: Goddamn stupid ass buggy! Why'd it break down!? That's the last time I get any freebies off that queer Dio guy!  
(they almost reach the top of the steps when Red XIII runs past them)  
Cosmo: Nanaki?! Is that you?!  
Red XIII: Yes, it is I, Nanaki. I have returned. (runs into the canyon)  
Cloud: Nanaki? Who's Nanaki? (he and the others attempt to gain entrance to the canyon)  
Cosmo: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot let you pass. You are on sacred ground. Leave at once.  
Red XIII: Please let them in. They helped me along on the way.  
Cosmo: What?! You helped our Nanaki?!  
Cloud: Yep, we sure did help your... Nanaki. (quietly to Tifa) Who's Nanaki? (he and the others enter the canyon)  
Bugenhagen: (offscreen) Ho ho hooo! Our Nanaki has returned!  
Red XIII: Grandpa! (runs up the steps towards Bugenhagen's observatory)  
Cloud: What the hell just happened then?  
  
(cut to the observatory. Cloud, Tifa, Barrett and Red XIII are with Bugenhagen)  
Bugenhagen: Ho ho hooo! It sounds like you had some adventure, Nanaki! I especially liked the part about President Shinra!  
Red XIII: Yes, these people have been wonderful companions. They've treated me so well.  
Bugenhagen: I'm glad to hear that. Thank you, Cloud. You are such a good man. Can I have your autograph?  
Cloud: ...Sure, whatever. (signs a piece of paper with his name)  
Bugenhagen: Oh, thank you so much! Please allow me to donate all my life savings to you when I eventually die!  
Cloud: ...Sure, whatever.  
  
(cut back to the Cosmo Bonfire)  
Barrett: Was that how it happened?  
Cloud: I don't know. My memory became kinda vague after I was exposed to all that mako energy.  
Aeris: Mine too.  
Tifa: Well, it's been one hell of a day. I'm going to turn in now.  
Cloud: Yeah, it's been a tough day for everyone. Things'll be better tomorrow.  
  
(cut to the Shildra Inn, the next morning. Cloud wakes up and walks into the bar, wearing his pyjamas. Barrett, Tifa and Cid are sitting at the table)  
Tifa: Good morning, Cloud. Did you sleep well?  
Cloud: I guess...  
Barrett: We ordered ya some breakfast. Sit your ass down here.  
Cloud: (sits down next to Barrett) Say, where's Aeris today?  
Tifa: Hmm, um, she's, uh, she's dead.  
Cloud: Dead?! What?! How?!  
Tifa: We found a deadly poisonous scorpion in her bed with her this morning. Her body had gone all limp and yellow. The innkeeper said the scorpion had most likely stung her during the night, which caused her inevitable death.  
Cloud: Ew... (the innkeeper gives him his breakfast) ...I think I just lost my appetite. (pushes the breakfast aside)  
Tifa: I sure am lucky it didn't get me instead.  
Cloud: This town is screwy. If you ask me, that Bugenhagen guy is better off dead. Let's go back to Midgar.  
  
(cut to Red XIII's room. Red XIII is lying on his bed of straw. Cloud comes in)  
Cloud: Knock knock!  
Red XIII: Oh, hello.  
Cloud: Hi, uh, the guys and I are headin' back home now. Will you be okay on your own?  
Red XIII: Yes. (Cloud turns to leave) Hey Cloud?  
Cloud: (stops) Yeah?  
Red XIII: Thanks for coming to the funeral.  
Cloud: No problem, Red XIII. Bugenhagen was a great man. I feel honoured to have known him.  
Red XIII: Yeah, he was a great man, huh?  
Cloud: He was one of a kind.  
Red XIII: ...Cloud?  
Cloud: Uh huh?  
Red XIII: ...Never mind. It's okay.  
Cloud: All right. You come to Midgar and visit us someday, okay?  
Red XIII: You bet I will.  
  
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THE END___________  
  
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*I know that's not his full name, but who the hell cares! It sounds pretty cool, huh? 


End file.
